how i lost my virginity, pt. 2

[part one]

i started to really feel the pressure during senior year, when it had finally occurred to me that when my classmates were talking about "hooking up with so-and-so," they weren't joking. the majority of people i knew who were my age were sexually active. i first recognized this during one of the many wild conversations that ensued in my second period art class with mallory and erica. it was in the spring, when mallory had told us that this boy elliot, one of the hot shot sk8terbois on campus, had come over to her house. he had given her a ride home from work or something, and he came upstairs, and they ended up fucking. and that was that. i was shocked, because i had never heard sex talked about so casually by someone i actually knew. i thought it would be more ceremonial than that. that was also the first time i really felt jealous of a friend for getting sexual contact.

the last straw was when erica lost her virginity. i never thought that i would end up being last out of our entire group. erica and i were the last two, and she beat me to it. i didn't understand. she was hardly comfortable in her own skin, so how could she possibly get laid before me? all throughout high school, she had strived to get the most impossible guys: brett, the hottest freshman on the water polo team; elliot, the aforementioned sk8terboi that all the sk8tergrrls swooned over; aaron, a 24-year-old trumpet player for the orange county ska band suburban legends (she later moved on to derek, the drummer). after all of that, she was the first one to get herself a boyfriend and get herself laid. she didn't like him much, and she later admitted that she used him just to lose her virginity. she broke up with him two weeks later.

when she told me about it, i just wanted to kill her out of jealousy, but i put on a nice face, and smiled and nodded to disguise my anger. after that, i knew that i was on a mission.

[part three]